Beach ponderings

Wednesday, 12 March 2014

I spent my morning today in my very favourite spot in Doha - curled up in a beach pod with PW.

Left in my own company when he had to shoot off, I got to thinking (Carrie Bradshaw style) about a lot of things.

The amazing weather, my gorgeous home, and the small cluster of people I care about are what keep me happy being here in the desert.

I've been here 7 and a half months now, and am only just starting to feel settled. In five days time I learn whether or not I have passed the probation period at work. If I pass, then the choice is mine about whether I feel I want to stay here beyond the World Cup.

It's a daunting thought, and not one to take lightly. I'm missing my home and my family like mad - the biggest lure of heading back to the UK is so that I can spend quality time with them. Every day that I'm here is another day not spent with them, and I worry that I won't get that time back.

(On the bright side...I'm going home soon to visit everybody and I CANNOT wait!!)

I have no idea what the job situation is like in the UK, but when I left it was pretty bleak so I can't imagine much will have changed on that front. I'm so lucky that I have a good job when so many people are desperately trying to find one. I don't think I could leave here without knowing that I was going back to something. Not to mention I haven't yet been able to save anywhere near as much money as I hope to save out here. The whole reason for coming, apart from the life experience (think iv had a good share of that now!) was to save for a house deposit. I think I'd need to stay and do another year to save anywhere near the figure I'd need for that.

Then I wonder what the people I care about here are thinking about their plans for Doha. I only have the smallest cluster of close friends here, and if any one of them left I'd be completely lost. I know that this is part of the reason that PW and I are not 'together', because neither one of us knows where we will be in a few months time. I never in a million years expected to come out to Doha and fall for someone like iv fallen for him. We are making the most of just enjoying our time together here, because at some point the time will come where one of us will inevitably choose a different path to the other. I'm sure not looking forward to that!

All these serious and daunting thoughts have left me feeling pretty blue, so iv done the only sensible thing that there is to do - tuck into a box of Biscotti chocolates :)


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