Wednesday, 19 November 2014

I decided to take a couple of weeks away from writing my blog. Whilst my short break from the blogosphere was the right decision and one I'm glad I made, I must admit that I have really missed it. Writing my blog is, after all, a hobby, so the absence of this from my weeks has really been noticeable to me.

There were a couple of reasons why I decided to take some time out. The last couple of months, since I came back to Doha after my summer break, have been incredibly hard. Major frictions, tensions and stress in both my work and home life resulted in suffering from severe anxiety, to the point where I would come home from work and shut myself in my room for the night, to avoid any further stress or conflict. Apart from spending what time I could with Matt when he wasn't working, I stopped socialising. I didn't really want to face anyone. A few key friends have been very supportive - recognising what's going on and doing what they can to get me out of the house. My home was no longer my sanctuary away from the things that were upsetting me, meaning the anxiety just got worse, so to those friends who have helped me to snap out of my 'social recluse' phase, I am very grateful!

That isn't who I am, or who I want to be. My work stresses will probably always be there, but outside of work I am a fun loving girl who loves the company of both my man and my friends in equal parts, not a complete hermit!

As a result of the above, it has meant that I have had absolutely nothing to blog about, as iv done nothing to blog about! In the world of lifestyle blogging, 'I got up, I went to work, I came home, I watched 24 with Matt, I went to sleep' absolutely doesn't cut it. I want my content to be the kind of posts I would want to read myself, and I certainly wouldn't want to read about that!

Which brings me on to the other reason why I took a break from blogging. Probably in part due to everything going on in my personal/work life, I lost my way a bit on the blogging front. Or I thought I had lost my way. It came to light that people from work were reading my blog, as I had started to expand my readership via posting my blog link on Facebook and Twitter. I'd heard nasty and negative comments made by colleagues about a blog written by someone we know, and it made me very self conscious that my writing was now up for judgement too. That might sound silly - as a blogger, or as anyone uploading content to the Internet for all to see, we are opening ourselves up for judgement. I just wasn't ready for that judgement to come from those that my blog was and is not aimed towards.

I started my blog for my friends and family back home to be able to follow my adventures once I had moved to Doha. Not only limited to that, it was my place on the Internet to write about the things I enjoy - product reviews, restaurants, events, anything and everything. I am a lifestyle blogger, and all of these things fall in to elements that make up my life, as they are the things I enjoy. I take inspiration from posts I enjoy from other lifestyle/beauty bloggers. If I didn't like their content, I wouldn't read their blogs.

So as I say, I thought I had lost my way. I was writing posts about the contents of my handbag, which are posts/vlogs I enjoy, whilst in the back of my mind wondering what mocking comments might be being made by the people I work with.

After a bit of time away, I have remembered that this blog is for me (first and foremost, it is my hobby), it is for my family and friends (so they can see how I'm getting on living abroad - my mum is the number one fan of my blog!), and it is for anyone who understands lifestyle blogging and enjoys the content that goes with it (like my lovely followers, and the people who email/tweet me if they like my posts). I hadn't lost my way at all, I'd just lost my confidence.

As I write this post, I'm sitting overlooking the Indian Ocean, on one of my final days in Sri Lanka, although when I post this il no doubt be back in the sandpit that is Qatar. This holiday came at just the right time, and when I return to Doha I hope everything will be different. Circumstances will have changed, and I hope with that my anxiety eases off and I can start to enjoy my time in Doha a lot more. In the meantime, I'm off to enjoy the rest of my holiday - I look forward to blogging about it once I'm home :)


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